


rise through the night, you and i

by juliejatpfan (anxiousrainbows)



Series: Sunset Curve: Music's Great "What If?" [3]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Coming Out, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Sickfic, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, mention of aids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:00:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28112787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anxiousrainbows/pseuds/juliejatpfan
Summary: "Ohana means family, and family means no one gets left behind."or where the Sunset Curve boys are a family, and they take care of each other
Series: Sunset Curve: Music's Great "What If?" [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2041382
Kudos: 58





	rise through the night, you and i

**Author's Note:**

> tw! unsuccessful suicide attempt! i know it's in the tags but i know that i don't always check the tags so i'm putting it here. if you plan to skip it, don't read past "in times that i doubted myself."

_Sometimes I think I'm falling down_

_I wanna cry, I'm callin' out_

_For one more try_

_To feel alive_

**_March 15, 1992_ **

Reggie sat on his bed with his bass in his lap, playing a new melody he was working with. He could hear his parents arguing downstairs, something about how his mother is ungrateful for his father; Reggie tried not to pay much attention to it. They argued so much that he hadn't been able to tell them that he had formed a band with his three best friends. _Not that they would care_ , he thought. _All they care about is trying to tear each other's heads off._ He didn't want his friends to know about the minefield of a home he lived in, but he desperately wanted to leave and cuddle up with the band while they talked about whatever was on their minds.

_And when I feel lost and alone_

_I know that I can make it home_

_Fight through the dark_

_And find the spark_

**_April 22, 1993_ **

Reggie had heard enough of his parents yelling at each other. Normally he could power through it, but he was sick and they weren't helping his already agitated headache from going to school. Yes, he still went to school; Reggie knew if he missed that the school would call his parents, and they would be mad at him and direct all their yelling at him and he knew that it would make his headache worse than it would be if he just went to school. But all this yelling wasn't doing him any favors, so he packed a change of clothes and his toothbrush and climbed out the window. Landing on the ground hurt like hell, but he still trudged to his bike and put on his helmet before riding off to Alex's house. Once he got there, Reggie dropped his bike on the lawn and walked up to Alex's front door.

"Reginald! Alexander didn't tell me you were coming." He hated his full name, but he felt too shitty to care right now. Mrs. Mercer turned to the stairs and called out, "Alexander! Reginald is here!"

Reggie winced at the loud noise, but Mrs. Mercer didn't seem to notice. Alex walked up to the front door.

"Thanks, mother, I got this." Mrs. Mercer left them. "Reggie, come in. Shouldn't you be in bed right now?" "Normally, yes, but being in my bed means hearing my parents work out their problems so loud the whole neighborhood could hear. I'm sorry I came uninvited, I'll just go, you probably don't want to deal with me—"

"No, Reg, it's fine. I want you to be comfortable coming to us for this kind of stuff. Come on, I'll get you set up in the guest room."

The two boys walked to the spare bedroom in Alex's house, Reggie leaning on Alex to support a lot of his weight. Reggie climbed into the bed.

"Have you eaten dinner?"

"No. The parents wouldn't shut up long enough for me to even think about going down there."

"Alright, I'll go get you some food."

Alex walked downstairs to the kitchen, where he found a can of soup and poured its contents into a pot to boil.

"So why is he here? It's very late for him to be coming over, especially on a school night. And why are you making him soup?" Alex's dad said.

"He's coming down with something, I'm hoping this'll help," Alex said.

"Well then shouldn't his parents be making him soup at his house?"

"His parents are out of town, and the neighbors are playing loud music and refuse to turn it down. Please just let him spend the night here."

"He can spend the night, honey. I can drive him home in the morning," Alex's mom said.

"Uh, he's gonna go to school, knowing him."

"Why would he do that?"

"He'll probably be better by the time they come back, I don't think they'll believe him when he tells them he's sick. How would you guys feel if you knew I skipped school while you guys were out of town?"

"We would be furious."

"Exactly."

Alex dished the soup out into a bowl and brought it up to Reggie, who ate it quickly— at least he wasn't having stomach problems. Once he finished, Alex brought the bowl back down and put in the sink. Reggie was snuggled up in the blankets fast asleep when Alex came back up. He smiled to himself and kissed his forehead before going into his room.

_Life is a risk but I will take it_

_Close my eyes and jump_

_Together I think that we can make it_

_Come on let's run_

**_November 11, 1994_ **

Alex walked into band practice to find Bobby, Reggie, and Luke looking somber.

"Did you hear Pedro from The Real World died?" Bobby asked him.

"Yeah, I did." Alex doesn't think he'll ever get the words his father said out of his head: "that's what he deserves for being a sodomite."

"It's so sad. Another person lost to AIDS," Reggie said.

"We couldn't finish watching the report on it. They kept bringing up his sexuality, like because of that he deserved to die. I will never understand why people can't even be respectful and not homophobic even when someone died," Luke said.

 _Now's your chance,_ Alex thought. _If you don't do it now, you'll never do it._

"Um, guys, I gotta tell you something."

"What's up, 'Lex?" Bobby said.

"Uh, I'm— I'm gay."

Alex swore that you could hear a pin drop in the studio. He was ready to cry— his best friends in the entire world didn't accept him. Then, Luke got up. Alex thought he was about to get punched, but instead, Luke wrapped his arms around him in a tight hug. Reggie and Bobby soon followed, and Alex was in the middle of the tightest band hug they'd ever shared.

That made Alex cry from happiness.

"You know we love you, right?" Reggie said. Alex nodded.

"Well this is a part of you, so we'll love it just as much," Luke said.

"I know we're a dysfunctional bunch, but the love is real. Nothing can and will ever change that," Bobby said.

So, instead of band practice that day, they went to Blockbuster, rented _The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert,_ and watched it on the Wilson's VCR. Alex's anxiety tried its hardest to remind him that his parents wouldn't be accepting like his bandmates were, but in that moment, he was too happy to care.

**_May 16, 1995_ **

_Rise through the night_

_you and I_

_We will fight to shine together_

_Bright forever_

Luke laid in the bed up in the loft of Bobby's garage-turned music studio. He hadn't eaten in a week, his insomnia was getting worse, and he was set to run out of toothpaste in less than a week. The realities of running away were starting to settle in, and Luke wasn't liking them. Not to mention, he felt bad about running out on his parents, especially his mom, who he hadn't shared the kindest of words with before he left. He always wanted to apologize, just after they had made it big so that he could prove that he could do it. But with him literally being a starving artist, Luke might have to move up that date.

The next day, he told the guys he wanted to move back in with his parents.

"I can't be doing this anymore. I eat maybe once a week, I can't get any sleep from the guilt gnawing at me, this just isn't a reasonable way to live. No offense, Bobs."

"None taken. But, we did pick up food on the way here, so have a couple hamburgers and then we can help you form a plan."

Luke took the hamburgers and ate them faster than you could say, "you're gonna choke!" (which Alex did say).

"I feel better already. Thanks guys."

"No problem. Now, how are you gonna go back?" Reggie said.

"I don't know. I mean, I'm gonna have to say something, but I don't even know what to say."

"Then write her a song. We all know you get your feelings out through songs. It's very Broadway of you," Alex said.

"Yeah, a song."

"But, Luke," Alex said, "Why didn't you tell us you were struggling like this?"

"Yeah, man, we could've helped you," Reggie said.

"We figure shit out like this as a band, remember?" Bobby said.

"Yeah, I just," Luke paused. "I don't know, wanted to prove I could do it on my own."

"Lu, never feel like you have to prove anything to anyone, because you don't. You taught me that. And trust me, letting that feeling go will do you so much good, especially for your sleep," Alex said.

"When we fight, we fight together, right?" Bobby said.

"Right," Luke said with a smile. He should've known his brothers would always have his back on this.

_In times that I doubted myself_

_I felt like I needed some help_

_Stuck in my head_

_With nothing left_

**_February 1994_ **

Bobby felt his world crumble when his parents told him the news: they were getting a divorce, and his dad was going to be moving away to Colorado, where his job wanted him to be. It was already bad, but then the kids at school found out, and they just made it so much worse. They reminded him every day that not even his own dad wanted him. Even when the boys stood up for him, all it did was add more fuel to their fire: "oh, need your stupid boyfriends to save you?" "bet daddy's leaving because he doesn't want a queer for a son."

He felt like he had nothing anymore. The band was starting to fall apart, with Alex constantly wrapped up in church functions, Luke constantly wrapped up in arguing with him about them, and Reggie constantly wrapped up in the feeling that everyone around him is always at each other's throats. Bobby usually held Reggie against his chest and played with his hair to keep him calm and to remind him that this wasn't like his house. With his family being torn to shreds, everyone else ragging him for it, and one thing he lived for ripping at the seams, Bobby Wilson's life was a certified mess. And that didn't feel good. So he went for the one thing he thought would feel good: ending it.

_I feel something around me now_

_So unclear lifting me out_

_I found the ground_

_I'm marching on_

When Luke got the call, his heart dropped to his feet.

"Hey, this is Sara Wilson, is Luke available?"

"This is him."

"Um, Bobby is, uh, trying to," she sobs into the phone, "kill himself. Do you know where he might be?"

Sad thing is, Luke _did_ know exactly where he'd be.

He, Bobby, and Reggie had talked about the best way to kill yourself once in the 8th grade. Bobby said that "the definite best way is to jump off the pier. No one is going to bat an eye, it's fast enough so that no one will be able to find you, and you can literally sleep with the fishes!"

"Yeah, I'll call the guys. We'll go get him, okay, just stay calm," he said, trying to stay calm himself.

"Okay."

"I gotta hang up, but we'll bring him home, I promise."

Luke hung up and called Alex and Reggie. Reggie provided the car to take them to the beach, Alex his little sister's swimming goggles, and Luke towels and swim trunks. They all piled into Reggie's car one-by-one, and headed off to the beach, where they saw Bobby's car in the parking lot. Reggie parked nearby it, and they ran towards the pier, not giving a shit if people looked at them weird.

Alex handed Luke the goggles once they made it to the pier, and Luke jumped in, being the most experienced swimmer.

It took him a worrying long time, but he saw Bobby, and reached for his arm. Bobby tried to get out of his grip, but once Luke got them above water, Alex and Reggie ran in to help them all get to shore. Reggie wrapped a towel around Luke and Bobby, who were sitting on a towel, and grabbed towels for Alex and himself.

Once he stopped coughing, Bobby spoke. "How'd you guys know I was here?"

"Your mom called me, said you were trying to kill yourself. I remembered that conversation we had in the 8th grade about the best way to kill yourself, and you said jumping off the pier and drowning yourself."

"Ah yes, the first time Alex ever had a anxiety attack in front of us," Reggie said.

"Well, it was justified! You all were talking like you were going to off yourselves!"

"Hun, anything that makes you that upset is justified," Luke said.

"Can we get back to Bobby, the person who _actually_ tried to off himself?" Alex said.

"Yeah, like why did you guys come to find me? I didn't even think anyone would find the note until after I was gone."

"Because we care about you, Bobs," Reggie said. "And we weren't going to let you suffer without trying to help. Drowning's a pretty painful way to go."

"What caused all of this anyway?" Alex asked.

"A lot of things. The band seems to be falling apart, my family is literally splitting into pieces, and the football team won't let me catch a break."

"The band? Why the band?" Luke said.

"Have you ever noticed that band practice seems to always turn into you yelling at Alex about his dedication to the band, rather than us practicing and trying to figure out a way to schedule around the things Alex has to do for the church? We all know he can't just back out of those for band practice," Bobby said.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize how much of a toll that would take on you guys," Luke said.

"It's okay, just don't do it anymore. I like having the studio be a no yelling zone," Reggie said.

"Alright, well I promised your mom I would bring you home, so let's do that, huh?" Luke said.

"Yeah, I'm freezing," Alex said.

What they didn't know, is that Bobby was already home, with them.

**Author's Note:**

> us suicide hotline: 800-273-8255  
> stay safe, my loves. if you need someone to talk to, my tumblr is @juliejatpfan, just like on here. my online door is always open. i've been there, but i've also gotten out to find greener pastures. you can to, but please reach out for help.


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